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2004-10-26 [長年日記]

_ 地獄道→畜生道

N 先生と共同研究をすることになったので、約 1 年振り(もっとかもしれない……)にヤツのところに話をしに行った。わたしが M 論のときから主張していることをあたかも自分が今考えたかのように言ってきたり、先輩の悪口を言ってきたりと、いつものごとく地獄のような時間を過ごした。もういやだ。

約 90 分の試練を終えた後、どうしてもおさまりがつかなかったので、R 姉様にお願いして飲みに付き合ってもらうことにした。実は昨夜も R 姉様と「ライバル」と飲みに行ったので、2 日連続で飲んでいることになる。忙しいのに R 姉様には申し訳ないことをしてしまった。

飲みでは楽しくインタラクションできた(と思う)のだが、それでもまだ離したりない感話したりない感が残った。結局、部屋に帰ってからも遅くまで独りで飲んでいた。これじゃ、まるで畜生だよ。

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