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2004-08-11 [長年日記]

_ ひさしぶりに

殺される夢を見た。1ヶ月ぶりぐらいだろうか。

これまで刺殺がほとんど(まれに扼殺とか)だったのだが、今回は撲殺だった。しかも複数犯。はじめてかもしれない。精神面で何らかの変化があったということだろうか?

あの鈍器(固いガラス瓶のようなものだった)で殴られた感覚が、まだ頭のどこかに残っているような気がする。小説などで「薄れていく意識の中……」という表現があるが、まさにその状態の中で目にした鈍器を振り下ろそうとしている犯人たちの影がまぶたに焼き付いている。

痛みをまったく感じなかったのは、夢だったからなのか、死に瀕して脳内麻薬が分泌されていたからなのか。

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